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I’ve always wanted to be an adventurous person, but I have a problem…I don’t like change, and I have this fear of, well…failure.  Stepping out and doing something adventurous always requires change and always risks failure.

Yet, I always seem to find myself doing things that seem crazy.  This is what the last six months of my life have been….craziness.  But, in the midst of all of it, I have this peace that I am exactly where I need to be, even if it’s not where I want to be, or where I thought I would ever be at this point in my life.

Last month I was working two jobs.  One job that I was in the process of leaving, and another job that I was in the process of beginning.  The job I was leaving was my position as Youth Minister at Cornerstone.  When I started at Cornerstone two years ago, it was my dream job, and I never thought I would be leaving it so soon.  The job I was starting is my job at the hospital, a place I never thought I would work because I pretty much hate hospitals. But, I guess God had different plans than I did.

Proverbs 16:9 says “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”

I clung to this verse while I was in seminary, and I find myself clinging to it now.

Things don’t make sense.  I try to plan, and God always changes those plans.  I don’t think it’s a bad thing to plan, but I do believe that God orders our steps, and He always knows what’s best.  I trust that…I have to trust that.  Because if I don’t, my fear of failing would cripple me.

But, worse than failing, I believe, is looking back at my life after 5 or 10 years and regretting.  I don’t want to regret sticking to my “plan” and not following God’s steps.

So, let’s just say that things are different.  I am in a place I never thought I would be.  It’s not fun, but it is an adventure.  It’s not forever, but it is a step that God has placed in front of me.  And, honestly, that’s all I can handle right now…one step at a time.

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