Yesterday I was cleaning up my apartment, getting ready for our junior high girls life group, and I was sweeping the kitchen floor.  First off, I love things being clean, but I hate cleaning.  So, I don’t clean as much as I should, which is why I managed to sweep up a huge pile of leaves and dirt and trash that had collected on the floor over the week.

As I was trying to sweep, Bella (my beautiful and rather energetic border collie) decided that she wanted to be wherever the broom was.  Now, Bella has adopted a fear of the vacuum cleaner, but for some reason loves it when I sweep.  I think she thinks it is some sort of game.  I also need to say that Bella will eat/destroy ANYTHING she comes in contact with.  She is the dog that would eat someone’s homework.  So, naturally she finds things on the floor that I didn’t even know existed and manages to eat them.

Back to the sweeping….I finished sweeping and had all of the trash in a neat little pile, ready to be swept up in the dustpan.  I turned around for one second to get the dustpan, and when I turned back around, Bella was sitting right in the middle of the pile, just as content as she could be….eating the trash.

I was so frustrated because I worked so hard to get all the trash in one place, and there she was sitting in the middle of it, not just destroying it, but eating it.

I just wrote it off as her being a stupid dog (I know I shouldn’t call her stupid, but sometimes she is), and in that moment, a little voice spoke in my head “Amy, you are just like her.”

Wow!  I immediately defended myself against the accusation. “I would never sit in a pile of trash, much less eat it.  That’s so gross, and I’m not that stupid.”

“You do this everday,” was the only response I got.

My heart broke because it is true.  I sit in my pile of trash everyday, just as content as I can be, consuming it, and letting dirt and filth cover me.  My pile of trash is the sin in my life that I just won’t let go of, because, honestly, I like it.  I don’t like having sin in my life, but there is a reason that I keep finding myself back in the pile.  Just like my precious Bella, I enjoy it.  It’s fun.  But, it’s also disgusting.

I am so broken over this, but that isn’t enough.  I have to get up and get out of the trash pile.  I have to trust that God is good, and giving up those sins means that He can replace them with something better, something real, something beautiful.

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